Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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