Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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