nutella sex= disaster
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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