I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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