Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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