this is something i pride myself on being below average for
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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