im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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