Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
