And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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