from now on my penis is your penis
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
