if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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