So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
