He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
