SEEEEXXX PLEASE
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize