Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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