Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
