whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
