I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
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I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I intend to get homeless drunk
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
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I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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