"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
