Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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