you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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