Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize