I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
