Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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