physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
