found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Someone shattered a urinal.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
