this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Randomize
