we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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