I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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