If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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