Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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