I'm drive I can fine osifer
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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