Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize