Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
