stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
