Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need moral support for this bender
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize