I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
