i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
