return my video game
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
