next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Fuck appropriateness.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
