Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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