how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
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I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
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all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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