Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
