at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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