you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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