well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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