but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize