smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I just found a bag of teeth...
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
