North Korea, Best Korea!
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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