omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
