so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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