My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
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