Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
