dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize