There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
If I die, sorry about rent.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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