just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
