how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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