I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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